I don't do birthdays. They are not my thing. Some people are into their birthdays that's fair enough and I'm not a birthday Grinch, I don't rain on their parade. They are just not for me. That's not to say I haven't celebrated my birthday in the past, I've had a few good shindigs to celebrate my journey around the Sun but I'm just not that into them.
The thing is, what role do birthdays have in life, should we look forward to them? Are they a day to go all out for and celebrate? What do we celebrate on our birthdays? What does Judaism have to say about them?
Interestingly birthdays don't feature in the Torah, the only birthday we see mentioned is that of Pharoah, there is no explicit birthday mentioned for our patriarchs and matriarchs. Going through the bible, there are no birthdays mentioned at all. It seems biblical birthdays weren't really a thing. No writing Hallmark messages on parchment or papyrus for your nearest and dearest.
There is no escaping the fact the birthday industry is huge, and Jews know how to party with the best of them. The reality is though, we live lives of meaning, what should we be thinking about on our birthdays?
The fact we celebrate our Barmitzva, or Batmitzva for girls, is an indication of where our attitudes should lie. We get together with our family and friends, dancing in circles celebrating our coming of age, the fact that we now have responsibilities. No longer a minor, our actions matter.
Our lives are filled with potential. The birth of a child is a joyful moment but it is also one filled with trepidation. Will the potential contained in the newborn be fulfilled?
A birthday perhaps is a chance to revisit this question of our personal achievements on a yearly basis. A Mishna in the Ethics of the Fathers (5:21) has a list of certain goals to be aiming for at various ages. In our youth we should be doing certain things and as we age we should hope to have become certain people, having internalised what we learnt growing up.
This doesn't mean we shouldn't celebrate. We are grateful for every day we receive, we should certainly be thankful for another year. Have a l'chaim, spend time with your close ones, but perhaps try and understand you are celebrating life on your birthday and hopefully a life fulfilling 365 days of potential every year.
