Are you Empathic? (Part 2) The Whole Torah while Standing on one Foot

ARE YOU EMPATHIC? (A Three-Part Series)

(For Part One, click here)

(For Part Three, click here)

 

Part Two

The Whole Torah While Standing on One Foot

In part one, we looked at the characteristic traits of someone who has empathy. We discussed the verse “Love your fellow as yourself” and Hillel the Elder who was asked to explain the entirety of the Torah while standing on one foot, and said “That which is hateful to you, do not do to others. That is the whole Torah, the rest is explanation”. This article will attempt to delve into this idea, to get a better grasp of this fundamental principle.

Let’s backtrack a moment to understand the origins of why we should be thinking so carefully of others. Rewind to the very beginning. God created man “in His image”[i]. Every man. Every woman. Every single person, whether you like them or not, is important. They have value. They have purpose. They are an essential part of the plan. That is echoed in the Talmud’s description[ii] that each person is likened to a world unto himself. If you save a life it is like saving the world. How severe it is to think, that if you destroy a life, it is like you have destroyed the world.

Think for a moment, what does it take to destroy someone’s life? We get so upset over seemingly small things! If we were to fully appreciate the extent to which our words or actions so profoundly affect people, we may choose to be more deliberate with them. Sadly, people have even taken their own lives over a horrible comment, or being publicly shamed. So what does it take to destroy a person’s life? The Torah includes the way we treat others, and now we can understand why. There are so many examples of this, such as “Embarrassing someone in public is akin to murder”[iii], or “Better to throw oneself into a furnace rather than embarrass another”[iv]. That is the extent to which we must be mindful of other people’s feelings. That is the extent to which we have to think to ourselves: are the words I am about to say, or actions I am about to do, going to hurt this “world of a human being[v]” in front of me?

Empathy is a key principle in many religions and systems, but why do we, as Jews, have to embody and teach these principles?

Jewish nationhood had humble beginnings: “Slaves in a land not their own”. The Jewish people were borne out of persecution. That is the very reason why we have to be the forbearers of this teaching. “You shall not oppress a stranger, for you know the feelings of the stranger, since you were strangers in the land of Egypt"[vi]. You know the feelings of the stranger. Of the outcast. Of the unloved. And you know how much it hurts. Coded in the very DNA of a Jew, is to be sensitive to the wellbeing of others. And the definition of other includes any group, any society, and any creed. Every single person was created in God’s image. No exceptions. This idea extends even beyond humankind, and the mystics would not even cut a blade of grass, as “the whole world is filled with His glory”. We are urged to become sensitized to all aspects of creation[vii].

The path of empathy is about expanding your identification of self to others. It’s about seeing the interconnectedness of the world around you. The human mind must grapple with the knowledge that all people are uniquely different and, at the same time, have the understanding that we are all one.

So why is this the whole Torah? The Torah seems on the surface to be a set of commands and rituals. Do this. Don’t do that. However, there is something much deeper taking place between the lines. The Zohar[viii] calls the commandments 613 tools or directives for how to effectively live a fulfilled, meaningful life, with an experience of connection to God.

There are many boxes we may need to tick in our own relationships in order to be on good terms. In a family setting this can include taking out the trash, making dinner or even arranging a family vacation. But those are all done in order to facilitate the relationship that is taking place between those various actions. If we do all we are meant to, but don’t give time and attention to the people we love, those actions will be in vain. If we wash the dishes and clean the floors, but don’t even ask our loved ones how they are feeling or how their day was, we may have just missed the point.

Our mission in life to build a relationship with God. The Torah and the commandments are there to facilitate the building of that relationship. And if the purpose is to build a relationship, then we can begin to understand why the empathic disposition is so fundamental as a starting point, that Hillel can refer to it as the whole Torah. “That which is hateful to you, do not do to others” forces a person to think beyond themselves. It forces us to see beyond our body, feelings, thoughts, needs, and desires, and to step into the shoes of another. It forces us to see others as an extension of ourselves. That basis, allows us to engage in a meaningful two way relationship.

This concept permeates all aspects of Jewish life. In fact, the study of Talmud forces a person to step out of his own paradigm. One has to understand both sides of the argument as being entirely true, encouraging the learner to step into the shoes of another and see the world through their perspective. Even the Torah legal system, or Halacha, emphasises a person’s obligations, as opposed to his rights. These all serve to encourage a person to see others as an extension of self.

The ability to step outside of our immediate selves, and expand our own identification to others, is a prerequisite for attaining any meaningful relationship. Needless to say, this creates a context and a platform for a more meaningful relationship with God. That is why caring for others and being aware of their feelings is at the absolute centre of Jewish values.

In part three of this article, we will look at some practical tools to increase levels of empathy to others.